when a teacher asks you if you understand the work and you don’t
*gets 0 on the test*
accidentally forgetting your earbuds at home is like accidentally leaving your first born child at the gates of hell
what do kids even watch on tv now since theres no hannah montana or lizzie mcguire or fresh prince or suite life of zac and cody???^#$?????11!?!?
if you want a nice body, go get it. if you want to become a lawyer, study your ass off. if you want nice hair, pick a style and get it done. stop being afraid and motivate yourself. find yourself. find your happiness, because it’s out there waiting for you.
so my dad’s friend was bartending and saw a guy put something in a girl’s drink so while the guy turned around he switched their drinks and watched the guy roofie himself.
i always end up thinking about the economic damage in superhero movies
hey mom can you help me roll this blunt